


What a Waste

by Dionynic



Category: Urban Shadows (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Angst, Between Sessions, Missing Scene, Orion being lonely, Orion is alone with his thoughts, Reference to vampire turning, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:02:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28748910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dionynic/pseuds/Dionynic
Summary: What a waste to be so alone...
Kudos: 4





	What a Waste

**Author's Note:**

> Title and summary from the song Waste by Oh Wonder, I was thinking about both it and Orion!

Everything was just so fucking unfair.

It wasn’t fair that he had to lose his reflection, it wasn’t fair that he was drugged in his own car, it wasn’t fair that his best friend sat sick in his apartment while he was unable to do anything about it, it wasn’t fair that his career was on the line. Nothing about this was fair. At some point during the mornin g after everything, Orion posted to his social medias, just a quick post about being sick, something that would take the heat off of him for a little while. An excuse he could use not to post any pictures. He still had a couple videos that he’d been waiting to post, so he could let those go on their regular schedule, but content would be slow. The sympathy flooded in, the usually sweet messages now made him sick enough to turn the notifications for his pages off for now.

It was useless to go check as far as he was concerned. He lounged back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Could anything go right these days? Things had been so much easier when he worked as a Supplier. The job could get rough sometimes but it was never like this. He hadn’t had the same worries he had now. Only concerned with how many iron supplements he should take per day and how best to go about capturing Theodore’s attention. Which was a troubling task but not nearly as much as having to worry about being drugged by the fae. Which was a problem he never would have imagined happening, even up to the point of going to that party for the first time.

Still, some of his problems had transferred over from being old to becoming... well not new, but still. Like Theodore. One of his, simultaneously, favorite and least favorite problems. There was a lot he wanted from Theodore and a lot he was willing to give, but Theodore wasn’t able to give him everything he wanted. Well, wasn’t able or just didn’t want to. Some part of him thought that maybe he could get him to love him if he were just better. Prettier, smarter, more charming, anything to get his attention again. And sometimes, he thought he got just that, and then he realized that maybe not. 

Orion wasn’t naive. He understood perfectly what was going on, or at least he thought he did. Florence was condescending and dismissive, Faidra and Declan were worried for him. And he supposed if he really thought about it, he could understand why. Maybe if he weren’t in this situation himself, he’d understand their concerns. But, he couldn’t help but be annoyed by it. He wasn’t a child, he wasn’t helpless. He knew what Theodore was like, he knew what he’d gotten himself into. He had the power to say no, and he knew that he could if he needed to. The problem was, as annoyed as he was by Theodore sometimes, he didn’t want to. 

“Fuck.” He choked out, laying an arm over his eyes as tears started leaking from his eyes. He stayed like that for some time before he pulled his arm away from his face, grabbing his pillow to shove in his face instead.

It was nonsense that he screamed at first, just nonsensical yelling. A way to vent out his frustrations. And then it melted into words. Everything that he was feeling. 

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” He screeched into the pillow, tears beginning to stain the cover. He felt pathetic, he felt weak. And maybe he was. He went to Alice and over fed, and then he wasn’t even able to bite Ash once. If he had, he would have been able to avoid the drugs. He wouldn’t have had to worry anyone. At least not past the blood. That may have freaked Faidra out but it would have been preferable to what actually happened.

He’d get over that soon enough though. What he was truly concerned about was his lack of reflection. What was he supposed to do if he couldn’t record or post pictures any more? His makeup was doing alright but it was mostly backed by people who came from his channel. And what would they do if he couldn’t post anymore videos? For a moment he wondered how awful it would be to beg Theodore for a job. He would probably be able to get one if he really tried. 

What was he even supposed to tell his parents then? 

They didn’t know much at all about Theodore, they didn’t know he was a Supplier before and now they didn’t know he was a vampire. He’d been keeping too many secrets and it was going to bite him in the ass sooner or later. He put the pillow down and grabbed his phone, checking for notifications. Phillip wasn’t exactly his best friend, but he didn’t wanna bother either of his new friends and he couldn’t talk to Alissa. And talking to Theodore was a lost cause, he figured that out from when he was panicking in Florence’s house. All he’d wanted was a bit of comfort and he’d gotten none. He started to text Phillip under the guise of bothering him, but quickly he decided against it. 

It was in that moment when he realized that he really needed to get more friends. He liked to think of himself as popular, and he was to an extent. But it wasn’t necessarily because he had a lot of friends. But everything that was happening made it difficult to branch out. Funnily enough, things would probably be easier if he did work for Theodore again. It would be easier to get friends at the workplace, that’d for sure. Or maybe he should go back and finish college.

His thoughts constantly wandered around and eventually they went back to Theodore. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around why he’d turned him. It wasn’t a process that he knew much about, he’d mostly forgotten, lost in the blur of blood loss, but it had to be purposeful. Or at least, not entirely accidental. There had to be some part of him that wanted to. So why? 

Unable to handle the gravity of his own wandering mind any longer, Orion laid back down, only half paying attention as he turned a podcast of some sort on and letting himself doze. Maybe he’d feel better later. Maybe this time when he woke up, he’d be ready to try getting over Theodore. Maybe, but probably not.


End file.
